No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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