I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
