I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
