Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
