i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize