All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
