Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize