the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
PANTIES FOUND
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
