I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We are all done wearing pants today
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
