when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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