Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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