8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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