I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
