Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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