i don't like sucking hair
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize