We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
