Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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