It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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