So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
