I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
