Whod you bang
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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