Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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