i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My life is pants optional.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
