I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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