Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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