his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
