I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
