is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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