I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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