she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
please don't ironically join a cult
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