I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
