dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
