someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
