covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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