Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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