I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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