I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
