it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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