my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
