Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
