it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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