hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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