Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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