Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize