we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
