Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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