You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
do herpes really smell.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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