If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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