I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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