how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
