I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
