i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
