Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
