Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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