Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
