hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
