When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
ttyl tear gas
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize