I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
