Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
