is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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