My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
