4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
