I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
