i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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