you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
