ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
