i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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