Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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