i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
