I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
