I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
