did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
