I need help removing her.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
be right there i have to get my cape
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
