I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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